Abortion and Miscarriage

Over a year ago, I wrote a piece here about abortion and rape. It continues to haunt me. The issue of women’s reproductive freedom in the United States remains relevant. I have some time, and I’m going to do more research on abortion laws and paternity/child support laws in various states. I still want to understand better how states that do not have exceptions for rape or incest handle the rapist’s relationship with the parent of the child resulting from that rape and the relationship with the child.
But before I get into all of that. I need to acknowledge something that I often feel is lurking underneath all of our conversations on abortion — miscarriage and stillbirths.
Many people close to me have lost a baby early or later in their pregnancy. Those losses were painful, often not just for the pregnant person but also for the potential grandparents, the expectant siblings, cousins, friends, and everyone who loved one of the people grieving a loss.
I often wonder if the people saying “abortion is murder” suffered such a loss, and my heart goes out to them. I want to pause and reach out and say, “I’m so sorry for your loss. I hear your grief”.
I hold both positions that a pregnant person has a right to decide whether to carry to term or not. And I hold the position that losing a pregnancy for medical reasons is painful and a loss of a person, a real being. I don’t know how I hold both of these positions. The conflict is right there — in one scenario, the fetus is a baby, and in the other, it is not. I just live with that discrepancy.
But I also wanted to formally acknowledge that discrepancy. And so I wrote this statement.